Film Review – Cabin in the Woods

The best kind of horror is horror in spite of itself. This movie defines horror in spite of itself. It’s like Scream and The Truman Show got together and had a beautiful baby.

In fact one of the male leads could be Jim Carrey. If Jim Carrey smoked A LOT of weed.

The device he is wielding is a bong that can be disguised as a coffee cup. Very funny.

Yes, unfortunately in some cases it must go to that great length of blood and gore to prove it’s point, but I forgive it. And if you don’t realize early on it’s making a mockery of itself–which could easily happen—it would be easy to dislike it.

Gossip Girl – Con Heir (S5 Ep18)

Anyone notice that when Blair Waldorf is presented with a challenge she develops this hopeful glow of excitement and determination? The same cannot be said of Serena van der Woodsen. When Serena is challenged she looks like a puppy that’s being kicked.

If you look long enough you can almost hear her whimpering.

Serena has been challenged a lot lately. Watching the beaten puppy face is becoming depressing.

Although, I am so Team Van der Woodsen. So I support Lola’s decision to take up ranks demonizing Ivy.

I am also so confused about what Gossip Girl is playing at and so disappointed Penn Badgley’s head still looks like an overgrown hedge.

I mean, let's be honest, it's overgrowth is probably the root of the "Bad Sex" dilemma.

Game of Thrones – The North Remembers (S2 Ep1)

Sometimes I have trouble paying attention to the plot of this show because of how awesome everything looks.

Now I haven’t read the books, so this is all new to me, but I’m sad that having dragons doesn’t instantly make you powerful and badass. In fact, the Dothraki seem to be riding front seat on the struggle bus right now.

It's like the dragon's saying, "I know we look cool, but wait until you're starving in the desert trying to hide us, suckers!"

Secondly, HOLY COW, how many illegitimate children did Robert Baratheon father?! How did he have time for that?! Wasn’t he supposed to be ruling over five kingdoms or something?

 

Run Gendry, while they're distracted by your apparent hundreds of other illegitimate siblings!

Oh and, no surprise, but Joffrey is still THE WORST.

Mad Men – Tea Leaves (S5 Ep2)

Mostly this episode could be titled, “Betty’s Back and Bitchier than Ever.” Question though, is that January Jones’ pregnancy weight, or a fat suit? I went back and forth the whole episode. It was distracting.

It's gotta be a fat suit right?

This episode also saw the welcome introduction of Michael Ginsburg! Who seems to be exemplifying the classic combination of spazzy and adorable noob. Which is great because I see him bringing out the best of Peggy Olson’s sass.

Ben Feldman as Michael Ginsburg

In other news, the fact that the Rolling Stones were considered old in the 60s confirms that they must have to defrost them for any public appearances these days.

Mad Men – “A Little Kiss” (S5 Ep1)

I think we can be certain of one thing, Draper certainly likes ‘em crazy.

Filing public burlesque dance under bad ideas for birthday presents...

Despite opinions on Megan, we’re all just happy Mad Men is back. Although, I wouldn’t say with a bang. The episode was dull considering the fireworks of the fourth finale and the extensive hiatus. Maybe they’re setting us up for big things?

Maybe we should speculate. Is Megan pregnant? Is that why she’s gone whacko?

Either way, Lane is still precious, Joan is still sassy, Peggy is still holding her own, and everyone is still smoking. So we’ll reserve final judgment for a few episodes.

And if they're not smoking they're day drinking. Obviously.

Smash – “The Workshop” (S1 Ep7)

Well, not exactly what she used to be, but Bernadette Peters is still fabulous as an evil, limelight-hogging mother. Really brings me back to her Cinderella days!

Look at that limelight she's hogging! Rude.

Ellis outed Julia and Michael Swift! Does this mean we can finally conclude that he’s evil? Wait, but Eileen is still hanging out with him?! The confusion continues…

At least Julia has gone firm against his wooing again. I suggest she get that son some therapy though. His whole sobbing bit at the end was rough, and not in a good way.

Finally, is something going on with Tom and “Not-So-Gay” Sam?

Very curious...

New Girl – “Fancyman Pt. 1” (S1 Ep17)

I don’t understand or fully believe this relationship arc yet with the rich silver fox, but it’s a two-episode story so I guess I’ll have to wait until next week to make the final call.

 

The writing was really great this week. From Schmidt being a trivia whiz to every line that took place in “Mr. Fancyman’s” office I was chuckling.

Your office smells like Shakespeare!

But I was a little bit ashamed of how loud I cackled when Jess fell in the koi pond. I even had to look apologetically around in the place I was watching it on my laptop.

How I Met Your Mother – “The Broath” (S7 Ep19)

After the general atmosphere of mopey in the last episode, this was a return to HIMYM greatness. The whole “Quinn-tervention” scene? Brilliant. Ancient “Bro-man” times? Classic Barney.

 

Although, we’re still hanging onto Ted’s unrequited love for Robin. The writers told us like a season ago that she’s not the one, we’re over it, can’t they just let it go?

Is it bad that I’m still a little suspicious of Quinn? Is anyone else still slightly wary of her? Otherwise, I think she’s hilarious and because somehow dating a stripper still seems Barney-esque, it’s working for his character.

Film Review – The Muppets

There’s not much to it. It’s a movie made for nostalgia purposes. Don’t get me wrong; it’s a great movie, if you’re a Muppets fan. I was never really exposed to the Muppets; I was more of a Sesame Street gal.

The music is great and the cameos are fun. However, a lot of the cameos don’t really add any thing, the people just sort of appear. Also, for winning Best Original Song at the Academy Awards, I was surprised how little there actually is to “Man or Muppet”.

In summary, glad I saw it, but not sure I’d watch it again.

Survivor: One World – Thanks for the Souvenir (Ep6)

I’m not sure where to start. Medical evacuation and the merge? They’re really trying to turn things around from the doldrums of the first few episodes.

The two tribes merging with a whopping twelve people.

While it’s true, everyone is happy that Colton got his just desserts, I’m sad to see him go! I just love a good Survivor villain. Honestly, I think he was very much in control of the game and could’ve won. Which, for his stereotype in this game, blows my mind.

Colton being medically evaluated before geting evacuated.

 

I have no clue how the chips are going to fall alliance-wise with this merge, but selfishly I hope the new Salani stays together.